another fire. can’t sleep. anxiety. my muscles are all sore.  my mind never rests now. business is down 50% since the fire. if you walk behind the restaurant where LSE was it’s depressing.

i got up to write and ended up texting with this old friend who now lives in china. we went back and forth an hour and now i don’t need to write.  i don’t know what i need. i feel like i need some drug that could deliver me from all of the anxiety and stress and tension i feel right now. have been feeling for 10 days.

my life was going along so good. now i feel like i just want to go away somewhere.  escape. that’s what i long for right now.

i used to love going to work. now i hate it. i get no comfort in sleep. i toss and turn. i don’t sleep. i lay there.  i sleep a little. i’m hungry. i’m always hungry. food does not satisfy me. beer and wine don’t taste good. the couch isn’t comfortable.

maybe i should go right now to ihop and order as much food as possible. i’m so hungry.


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