11:55. Too late to get into it.  I have to be up early too, even though the kids don’t have school.  So no time to write, no time. But I have some blogs bookmarked. I notice that blogs seem real hard to keep alive. Blogs often die.

Writing is hard to keep up with. I have the same problem sometimes for weeks even.  But even though there are the dry spells I have more or less been keeping it going since I started here in 2007. I’ve been writing since I was 18 but that’s another story.

I get so hungry at midnight. Why is that?  Is that why they call it a midnight snack?  Because you get hungry at midnight?

No time. Really, no time. If I start it will be 1am before I get to bed I know it. I’ve done it too many times before. I think I can just write for 15 minutes….

Soon.  I’ll get back into it soon. Although it will be a busy week with the holidays and all. Folks like to bring their families in to eat pizza more than usual. So I may be extra busy. And with working on audio journals every week now too that gobbles up my time.  You see how I said “gobbles” and it’s almost Thanksgiving?  Pretty clever huh?

And with the art show coming up and the stained glass window jag, and the audio journals and the desk that looks like a crazy man’s desk.  With all that, and the greenhouse needing watering, and well, I can’t get into it. No time.  I need to get up early. I’ll be back soon. I’m going to see if Amazon sells some time.  Maybe I can get a Black Friday sale on time.  Then I can write and re-up the blog. Yeah. I need to add that to my wish list. Time. Another one of those 25 hour days would work.

Realities and Dreams

I had a couple days where I wasn’t feeling 100%.  That’s a weird thing for me.

I usually feel pretty good and go full speed 100% of the time. So, I feel 100% and go at 100% speed about 100% of the time…. except for the exceptions. When I felt a bit sluggish Monday and Tuesday I was worried I would feel like that forever.  I go along feeling so good all of the time and then if I feel even a little bit less than awesome I get a bit stressed and worried.

But that feeling was gone by Tuesday night as C and I went to the local brewery and had a beer and looked at the art show. I was starting to feel back to normal then. It’s as if I had gone from a steady 100% to 85% for Monday and then 80% Tuesday morning.  But then by Tuesday night I was gaining, up to 90%… 93% even.

Then back to normal. But man, that was weird, feeling tired. Uninspired. Lethargic even at times.

I am in a place tonight where I like the podcast regimen. I like putting out a podcast right now because I made this one earlier in the week and it was easier than most to stitch together. I put it together rather easily on Sunday and Monday and even looked forward to releasing it Thursday night.  It’s nothing special but it’s enough.  It’s enough because I feel good about having this strange form of expression that once terrified me (my voice, my stories) and now feel like there’s a place for my bit on the whole.   I belong as much as the next guy.  I don’t expect audience or fame but I think that my two cents is part of the dollar bill. My tales and gripes and observations are good enough to make into an audio journal. They are good enough because they are honest and true stories.  Shannon Cason teaches me that being honest and true is good enough. The story doesn’t have to break convention or make you cry. Just be real. Shannon would say that.  He’s a storyteller I admire.  I love the simple nature of his stories, his true everyday voice, and the music he pumps in is always good. Shannon Cason’s Homemade Stories. 

I’m cranking on the stained glass these days.  Working many hours per day in the studio. Finishing and installing one and starting the next the same day usually. I have not been working on collage and painting much lately. I want to.  I think about it.  But I just dive back into the stained glass project.

I am maturing as a restaurant owner. Maturing because I am learning to live with the inevitable mistakes that come, breathe through and accept the times when we are busier than we can manage. I am holding my tongue more through the stressful times and accepting the failures as par. Failures are par no matter how much I wish they weren’t. Who goes to golf and expect 18 holes in one? No, there is a par. We have pars also in ordering. The par is 25 bags of flour a week. It wouldn’t be realistic for me to think we could get through the week on 15. Same goes for the very occasional mistake or disgruntled customer. If I can let it go, even just a little bit, then I may live longer, see my kids another day, and kiss my wife a few more times. If I let it drive me crazy every time then we know where that behavior leads.

But the same could be said for my diet and exercise. I know what helps and what corrupts. I know jogging is good and white sugar is bad. I know that I eat too much cheese and bread.

But knowing is part of the first phase.  I was joking with myself today while trying to jog. I am trying to fancy myself as a jogger even though I still can’t get myself to jog more than 20 minutes a day, even after jogging for more than 3 weeks. I was saying to myself, “I need to enter the calorie reduction phase.”  I don’t know why that was so funny to me but I kept thinking if someone asked if I was still jogging and someone might wonder why I wasn’t losing any weight or looking more fit…. I would reply, “Well, I need to enter the calorie reduction phase of my operation.” I dread the calorie reduction phase as much if not more than the jogging 20 minutes a day phase but if I jog 20 minutes and then drink a couple extra beers and eat ice cream, well…… you can see my dilemma.

I am NOT determined to get healthy and slim. That could be a big part of my problem. But, I am going to try and embrace more exercise. That is surely something I should do. And I promise to “think about” what it would take to get healthy and under 250 pounds. I will think about it.

I am a pretty happy guy.  I like to think my happiness will make up for some of my unhealthiness. I like to think that health is all in our minds.  But I know science says other stuff.

Whatever. I slept better last night than I have in a loooooong while. I wake up every morning at 5.  Sometimes 5:20.  I get out of bed at 6, 6:30, or 6:45.  Today I slept until my wife’s alarm went of at 7.  I woke from the middle of a long and complicated dream. In the dream I could only access my home by going through a series of my neighbors homes. The neighbors had big houses and lots of guests. I worked my way from house to house thinking I was closer to my own home than I was. When I finally reached my own house I was under it and had to climb up a 2×4 structure, to try and access my front porch. My house was floating. I was curious as to why it was so hard to get through the many boards and climb through to the porch and my wife said “You just built all that stuff last week!” insinuating it was my own fault I couldn’t climb through the last bit more easily.

That’s when the alarm went off and I laid there with my eyes closed for 10 minutes reliving the neighbors yards, houses and parties from my vivid and fresh strange dream. My wife was up and out of the room in a flash which seemed so weird to me. When is the last time I was the only one in bed? She is always so early to bed and so late to rise.



Lucky man


My 10 year old daughter drew this. She is my best friend these days. Today we went on a bike ride on the Rails to Trails and got gelato downtown. She is always fun and ready for adventure.  I said, “Let’s stop and see what this trail is like,” and she pulls over.  Ready for anything.

I love having kids. I love watching them grow up and hanging out with them.  The highlight of my day was biking with my daughter. She’s always bright, cheerful, fun and funny.

I was having a mellow day, sorta down. I woke up uninspired. After dropping my daughter off at school I came home and fell back asleep. I woke up disoriented and not feeling that good. I worked in the studio some and then when she got home we went biking for an hour and a half. My day turned around right there.

It’s pretty cool having a 10 year old for a best friend.  Keeps me young and laughing. I mean, my wife and I are probably a little better friends, but my daughter is a close second. Or tied for first. Well, my son just left the room. He was telling me about his day and he is so open and full of light. He’s a best friend too these days. Life is good.

If I never make it back to the studio I’d be fine just hanging out with my wife and kids. Cool funny people, all 3. I’m a lucky man.



Rain is so nice. Sure, it can be dreary and make a body feel tired and sad. It can stay around too long and make everything soggy and damp. It can make a mood that seems blue, or blue grey, or just grey. But it can also be just nice.  Tonight this steady rain is a comfort. My window open and the sound and coolness seeping in.

Today my son turned 14. He had a party at the restaurant. 9 of his friends came and they all played a card game called Magic the Gathering, or MTG. What a great bunch of kids. We had sodas and pizza and I even had a couple beers. It rained some, on the tin roof over the outdoor area. My daughter was the DJ and the bartender. She’d open the cokes and play the hits.

I gave him my iphone 6 plus. He says he’s the only kid his age in the World that doesn’t have a phone. I like my phone but thought I would go back to an old phone. I’ve revived an old iphone 4. It’s tiny. Cute even. I think I can manage the screen size change and even going from 64GB to 16GB is doable. But the battery life?  Wow.  I think the ios 9 must just kill the battery.  I remember retiring it after my wife used it for a while and said the battery was dying quickly.  So before switching it back on I got the battery replaced. But there must be something else wrong. I barely used it and the battery just goes down so fast. Usually on a Sunday like today I’d end the day with 70% battery but this phone hit 10% so I plugged it in to charge it so I can take it to the studio later and listen to podcasts. I turned off everything there is to turn off.  It doesn’t fetch my mail or have any location services.  I have it so dim I can barely see the screen and yet it seems to lose battery even when it’s off.  I really hate phones. I’ve lived most of my life without one and even traveled the US, Europe, Thailand and Jamaica without a phone. I survived just fine. No GPS, no Instagram, no Twitter, no email.  Why do I have to have one now?

I know the answer.  I have a business and kids and a wife and mother.  I have lots of reasons I need to be reachable. I mourn the old days a bit. When I didn’t need to make the extra $250 a month to pay for all these phone lines. I didn’t need internet. Those days are over.

Sometimes I like to imagine how nice it might be if something happened and the internet stopped working for a while.  What if all the internet got infected and all the phones went down too.  Wouldn’t that be something? Can you even imagine how disruptive that would be?  Hard to even fathom really. I like to think about not having a phone though. I like to think about how my life could possibly improve if I were able to go without a phone. But I’m too scared and too used to the constant communication.

I guess the time has come for my son to now be on his phone more than talking to me. The same fate that has plagued so many other fathers has now come to me too. He’ll have an Instagram or Snapchat profile soon I imagine. I don’t want to think about it. I want to find a way to embrace it but as a person who isn’t crazy about the “always on a phone” culture we live in, I think it will be hard to embrace. But maybe I can accept it.

The rain is really coming down now. I like it.  I think it will be even better in the studio than here at the desk. The studio is entirely screened in with a metal roof. I’m in the soldering stage of a stained glass window and I can finish this one in an hour and a half but part of me wants to leave some for tomorrow. Not that I can’t finish this one and still start a new one tomorrow but I am trying at least to take a short break between them.  I am trying to take a pause before just diving right back in because sometimes it begins to feel more like a chore than inspired.

I know that the more inspired I am the better the work will be and more it feels like a chore the more it will reflect in the glass. If I am at work and in a really bad mood and everything I see is making me mad, I try and leave. I can’t be very helpful in a state like that. It happens too when 4 or 5 things pile up within an hour or two and I start to feel more upset than happy.  You know, something is broken, a pizza is delivered to the wrong table, another pie is topped wrong, a customer is upset about something…. It just piles on me and I have found it’s best if I leave. I rarely feel like the studio work is forced or chore-like, but with me trying to do so many windows, I have been overly obsessed lately and caught myself not enjoying the process as much as I once did. So I’m consciously trying to slow down my pace.

Rain is still quite strong. I’m going to lean back in my desk chair now and put my hands behind my head and stretch.  I’m going to contemplate my next move. Either I will work on a new podcast episode?  or I will go do some solder in the studio? I could work on a collage or a new T-shirt idea?

Let me see what the rain thinks I should do. I will listen for a while to it’s rythm.

The 25 hour day

Funny that I was on a podcast this week about boredom. Funny for a few reasons.

  1. I am hardly ever bored. I go through my life so busy and with so much going on that boredom is just an abstract idea to me….
  2. I forgot that I had even called in to the podcast.  They asked at the end of some earlier episode for people to call in who had something to say about being bored. I called in on impulse as I was driving and never gave it another thought.
  3. I had nearly forgotten how bored I was this past summer and might have not remembered were it not for that loud reminder.

It was unusual because usually I can find things to keep myself occupied and don’t let myself fall into boredom. But just like in the Freakonomics podcast the boredom fed on itself and caused this downward spiral. It was weird. I remember thinking maybe I was depressed.  But then I realized I wasn’t depressed…. there was nothing “sad” going on- just being bored.  Bored to tears some days.  Not literal tears but really really bored.

This was the second time I was talking on a podcast, the other one being Startup.  I can’t say I “like” either of them, by that I mean I’m not especially proud of my small part.  I was so confused about why Startup folks were calling me.  I thought it was about my app idea for funding podcasts, but then I was talking about my restaurant and my life… So I didn’t really have my head on straight talking about that.  I was caught off guard so to speak.  And the recent one I was talking about how bored I am at the beach which is true but a weird thing to be caught on audio. I didn’t explain that the reason it was so weird was that I am never ever usually anywhere near boredom so the boredom was the surprise on that point. But no matter. I am humbled and amazed that I was featured on Startup even if I didn’t make sense because my 45 minute conversation was like a winding narrow road in the mountains at high speed and it was edited down to just a few minutes. Expertly edited I should add.  That was the most impressive thing about that conversation…. it was edited so heavily that it “almost” made sense. Somehow my words were boiled down and re-ordered to something close to coherent.

I love that I get an extra hour tonight. I love that.  It’s 12:37 and I know that it’s really 11:37 because the time will change while I’m sleeping.  Man I wish that happened every day.  Ha.  I guess that would make for a 25 hour day. I’d like that. I do think I’d appreciate that extra hour like I am appreciating it tonight. I went to work, went to FM Brewery and saw my new favorite band Wax Wings. I went to my mom’s and watched the Gator game. I went trick or treating with the kids, I went by work again to get some BBQ that was being traded for pizza. I came home and got a couple hours in the studio working on my latest and best stained glass window. And now I even have time to write and maybe even draw a few minutes before bed. So cool. SO nice to have an extra hour today. I like it… (and so far far far from bored.)



too tired to be interesting

More tired than usual tonight. Much more tired.

I wish I understood the ebb and flow of my inspiration. Why am I jacked to stay up late and get a lot of work done in the studio some nights and some nights I don’t have the energy? Why do I sometimes “feel like” working on audio stories and other times I shudder at the thought?

Maybe it’s not about inspiration at all…. maybe it’s just about fatigue. Maybe my level of inspiration is based on my previous nights sleep and the food I ate? There’s too many variables. I think the weather has a lot to do with it, whether I’m feeling allergies, how much I had to use my brain, how much driving I had to do, and how stressful my obstacles were.

I hardly ever feel like reading. I read to my kid and look forward to that but I don’t read for my own personal enjoyment… well, not more than a news article now and then. When I’m too tired to paint or make the stained glass windows, I usually still have the desire to write.  It seems like when all else fails I still feel like writing. I would love to set up a pottery studio and try throwing pots.  That would give me another thing to do in case I was tired of the painting, the stained glass window making, the audio storytelling or the writing…. It’s great to have days off work and so much free time to engage in these hobbies I love. Since it’s been 30 years since I’ve had a TV, the idea of sitting on a couch and watching a show is quite foreign. I do watch the Gator games so I get to catch up on some couch time during the college football season. But mostly I think I feel so exhausted from staying so busy with projects and problem solving all day.  I am exhausted today, but there was only one thing out of the ordinary and that was my brisk walk/ jog.

Yes.  My wife was bugging me about getting better exercise so I went to Lloyd Clarks and bought running shoes.  Then we went and did a simple mile and half on the Hawthorne Trail. I figured it best to start slow.  No need to kill myself on day 1. There’s plenty of time to work up to a 3 mile jog.  5 mile jog?  Gosh that sounds hard.

My daughter is going to be a 70’s disco dancer for Halloween.  She has a huge white afro wig and a bright flowing outfit. My son is going to be the headless horseman. Quite a pair those two….

There you have it. Plenty of information about my life right here. You know I am exhausted. I have new shoes. My kids Halloween outfits. My reading schedule. This is some exciting stuff. It’s 11:15 and my son just came in the office to tell me he’s lost his ipod.  Why is he even up?  He’s a teenager now and stays up too late.  But who am I to talk?

Exciting stuff, my life.  Facebook is much more interesting. You should really be on there instead.


Swing By Satchels

Well, I don’t have anything to say but I have this thing about pushing posts down the page.  I like it.  I like getting fresh stuff up so old stuff goes down. Weird?  Yes.  It’s like making paintings or stained glass.  I like to finish one so I can start another one. I like stacking them up. I like stacking. stacking stained glass.  Stacking paintings.  Stacking posts. Stacking animals.

What an exciting football game. I love it when my team wins but I also just like a good game.  A good game is better than a movie any day.  Better than The Martian.  The Gators played as best they could and lost but I had a good time eating chicken wings and thinking about how they could or might win. More than anything I am glad that I have people who will work so I can watch the game.  The restaurant is still quite busy on Saturday nights and in the beginning years I was always there.  Now I don’t have to be there. I am so glad for that.  It makes me love my employees so much more even.

What else? Well, I failed to get the measurements on the next stained glass window yesterday when I was there installing the latest. The normal protocol would be install the latest and measure for the next. BUT-  I was installing the latest one on a Friday right before the dinner rush so I was feeling rushed myself. Today I was there working and was thinking about work and the football game, and the errands I needed to run…. and well it didn’t cross my mind until I got home.  I don’t like to leave the house on Sundays if I can help it…. I like taking it easy and working around the house on stuff…. but I may just be tempted to run up there (which really means drive up there) and get those measurements so I can at least start drawing out the new design. I’m itching to get to work on a new one. Making these windows to cover the porch is more exciting than even Gator football to me.


A day later I am still considering the idea of quitting alcohol and taking up jogging.  My ankles and knees hurt a little when I write that word – jogging.  But isn’t jogging an efficient way to get fit? It seems like it would be. I’d be sweating my balls off in 5 minutes and my heart would be racing like a Tesla. That’s got to be good for me right?  Hmmm.

Speaking of Tesla I get a Google alert daily to articles that mention Tesla. Most of the articles are about the car company although there is the occasional one about the man. I start my mornings off reading the previous days Tesla news. My wife thinks I am mentally unstable because of this obsession. But I have been doing this so long now and watching videos and thinking about this car so much, that all the combustion engine gas guzzling cars on the streets just seem like junk to me now. I can see a nice BMW or Lexus or Mercedes and I just think “dirty gas auto.” I really hate gas stations. I dislike changing my oil. I think about the Tesla and the idea of overnight upgrades to the software and the absence of spark plugs, oil, gas, brake fluid, fuel pumps, black soot… and I think about the fast quiet and cleaner electric car and I think WOW.  That’s GOT to be the future.

How can it be that I sit down here to write, with absolutely NOTHING to say and feeling tired and sore and ready for bed, and then I can write about a bunch of nothing? I don’t know. I do know I like to push the posts down the page.  I don’t want the last post sitting at the top waiting for readers. I want it buried where no one can find it. Not unless they read WAAAY back a million posts…  But I feel like that with every post. I want it gone, down, away, archived, and unread.

11:50. Midnight comes so soon. Seems like midnight is always hovering around me waiting for me. Midnight knows me. Midnight knows I wait for it. Midnight and me are pals.  Midnight is when I am packing it all up, stacking the days things up, in my mind. I am sorting the stuff to the back of the brain. I may be putting things down on paper. I may be making a list for tomorrow.  I may be tidying up my desk so it’s neat.  I may be trying to get in a few more minutes on my studio painting or glass. Midnight is a marker. It means this day is done.  11:54.  It means a new day is starting. It means I must get to bed if I want to get the right amount of sleep for my needs. Midnight hovers. It’s my friend.

I hesitate. My mind wanders and I think about my new toothbrush and the last bit of toothpaste I rescued from the garbage.  Someone threw it out but I know I can get a few more days out of that tube, maybe even a week if I press hard. I actually untied a bag from the big bin outside and found the tube I knew was missing. That’s just stupid right?  I guess I thought it had more in it. It was about out. But when I see something missing I wonder “Where did that go?”  I tend to know about things in my reality.  I pay attention. I know when things move. 11:58.

953 words. A new toothbrush. Rescued Arm and Hammer toothpaste. The bed will be soft.  I got the right pillow now. I didn’t have it last night.  But no time to tell you why. Because it’s 11:59.  I’m watching the clock. It’s Sunday now. My favorite day of the week now. The word count is now 1007. That’s very James Bond.


OBESE (Just change the charts.)

Earlier today I had so much to say. Now I am not so sure.

Earlier today I thought about writing about being obese and now also having high blood pressure. I thought about the dilemma that creates.  I can be the kind of guy who gets some high blood pressure meds and goes about my life.  Or am I the kind of guy who decides I need to lose weight and exercise more? I don’t know.  Getting in shape seems practically impossible.  So right away there is my first problem.  Perception. Motivation. Faith. Discipline.

Obese is such a harsh word. I’ve thought about wearing a shirt that says “I’m Obese”  just to see how people react. Most people would think I have a bit of a beer belly but would not consider me obese.  When we think of obese we think of morbidly obese.  We think of HUGE people that can barely fit in a seat. I am squarely in the obese category. I am “supposed” to be 75 pounds lighter.  I can’t even imagine that.  I cannot fathom that is possible.

Could I take up running?  Could I quit alcohol and sweets? What would it take to lose 20 pounds?  I have such a hard time with these questions because I am pretty darn happy and ok with my body, for the most part.  I know losing weight would be less stress on my knees and spine and ankles but I don’t have the great fear of dying that might motivate me better.  47, obese, high blood pressure… I am probably a good candidate for something bad to happen. But I’m super motivated every day.  Very happy. I hate thinking about the extreme work it would take to get more healthy.

The only reason I even entertain the idea is my wife.  She is always trying to get me to think about my health. She won’t be happy until I live forever or something. She wants me to be around for grandkids and all that. Oh geez.

So there it is.  Today’s big issue. Pizza, beer and bon-bons are my regular diet. Sweets.  I love sweets.  Beer.  I drink it.

I like to think they just messed up making all the charts.  The blood pressure charts need tweaking, as do the weight charts.  Times have changed. Americans get bigger and blood pressures rise some. Just change the charts a bit and I’ll be in the right zone. Doesn’t that seem much easier than all the eating restrictions and daily exercise?  How can I get my art made if I’m always out running or biking or sweating up a storm.  And as it is I am hungry 80% of my waking hours.  What will happen after I run half a mile? I’ll tell you what.  I’ll want to eat for hours, and kill a pint of Ben & Jerry’s.

Ok. I’m done. I’m tired. It’s late. I’ve unloaded my problems onto the worldwide web. I should be able to sleep good now at least.  I will do this:  I will “think about” it…  things:  Motivation. Discipline. Perception. Exercise. I don’t want to do anything crazy this close to New Years. New Years is always a good time to start something big and new. I wouldn’t want to get crazy before then….

I sorta like the idea of just taking meds and going along as always.  I’m not kidding.  I think that is a good option.  Easier…. But if I do try to lose some weight it will be because of my wife and kids. But I can’t help but wonder if I have it in me. That person who can actually accomplish something as big as that. I’m yawning.  I’m so tired now.  What a long day it was.  Fridays are always busy days for me. But tomorrow I have 2 million things on my list.  I really need to hit the ground running early tomorrow. Not literally running.  I don’t even have shoes for that sort of thing.  No, I just have a lot I want to accomplish.




back at it

So I have not solved all of my problems since we last got together. But I didn’t expect to and I’m not concerned. There is plenty of time. I will get over the obstacles and find higher hurdles to jump. I plan to seek out the route with fewer hurdles anyway. I’m learning things. I already learned to say NO and say it more often now. I have an agenda and I’m sticking to it.

Yesterday was intense. I woke up at 5:30 with some sinus congestion. I wasn’t breathing good and my head was stuffy, then runny. My mind could not stop thinking about the day ahead. I tried to ignore it. I moved to the couch. I laid there thinking about the things that were going to happen. It didn’t happen at all like I thought. It was much more intense.

It may not sound intense. It might sound just like boring work work work. I love work. But it was intense.  It would be hard for me to capture with writing.  It’s over now.  I spent the day trying to recuperate.

I’ll skip the morning part of the day and jump right to the afternoon part. I was helping a neighbor business set up for a party. I was in charge of food, beer, plates, cups, napkins, ice. I left my house but down the road remembered I needed a trash can for the keg.  I went back and got that.  Down the road a bit I remembered the taps for the kegs. Went back for those. Got 250 pounds of ice, picked up the beers and sodas and paper goods.  Set up the station and went back for pizza.  So far so good. The party got real busy real fast. I was back at the restaurant trying to get pizzas out for the party but the tickets were coming in at a crazy pace. I tried to help the kitchen as best I could while waiting for pizzas to be ready for the party 2 blocks away.  Back at the party they were out of pizza. I dropped off a couple and raced back.   Back at work was even busier now. So, I tried to help get pies out at work and also race pies back to the party.  Had to get beer to the party too.  Every time I got back to the party there was a long line and they were waiting for pizza.  I couldn’t make pizza fast enough for the party and meanwhile the restaurant was SLAMMED and we couldn’t keep up there either. I got a text they were out of cups for beer at the party.  And out of pizza. I raced back and forth so many times I can’t remember. I tried desperately to get the kitchen caught up and tried with all my might to keep the party stocked with slices. All the while I am watching the clock because the Gator game is getting closer to start time.  I MUST see the Gator game. I used to miss the Gator games for work every week but I never thought I would miss even a minute now. Why are we so busy?  Don’t these folks know there’s a Gator game on?  Do all these people have TEVO? How can they ignore the Gators when they are 5-0 and playing Mizzou?

At one point while rushing pizzas over to the party on foot I encountered an older couple who’s car was stuck. They had backed into a ditch and one back wheel was spinning. I set the pizzas down and tried to push the car. The wife got in and I think had it in gear, the car wouldn’t move.  Her husband and I struggling with all our might. Finally a couple guys on bicycles stopped and helped us and we got the car free. I wanted to offer the helpers a slice of pizza but they were on their bikes and off before I had the chance.

At one point my friend with her sick baby said she was off to the Emergency Room. Her baby had a 105 fever. I panicked at that a moment. I know how scary it is to rush a baby to the emergency room. 105 is high.

I didn’t get to check out the party. I didn’t get to enjoy just cranking out pizzas at work and getting the list of tickets out. I just ran frantically back and forth and stressed out. I couldn’t conquer anything. I was getting beat at home and away.

Finally sitting on the sofa at my mom’s with a beer and a pizza I tried to calm down. My arms and clothes were covered in flour and pizza. My allergies were making my nose run from all the flour. I had no clothes to change into. I wanted to be comfortable and clean. I sat there trying to stop my spinning mind. I had missed the first 25 minutes. But by the 4th quarter I could hardly keep my eyes open. I would sleep during commercials and then watch a few plays. By the last few minutes I was literally sleeping between plays. I don’t think I missed a single play but I was actually sleeping in 30 second intervals as I could.

Today I felt exhausted from all that. I am trying to strategize how to avoid these complications in the future. I don’t need that sort of insanity in my life. It was fun when I was 35 but now it just makes me crazy. People wonder why I don’t open more restaurants and add new menu items…. But some days I am barely hanging on to what I have going.

If I could take tomorrow off I think I could get myself back together. But I have an agenda. I sold some ovens I need to palette up and ship. I need to get a Monday jump start if I want these babies to ship out this week. I know even if I get them all ready to go it could take days for them to be picked up.  I also know it could take hours to get them packed up. The guy paid for them last week and I don’t want to be a slacker. I don’t want to get beat anymore. I want to win.

Just like the Gators.

I follow the Gators every year win or lose.  And they have been losing for a few years. It’s fine but it can be a bummer to watch them make stupid mistakes and lose at Homecoming. Or against some bad team…  I don’t let it get me upset but it’s way more fun to watch them win. This is it!  They are winning and the season is half over. It’s been surprising watching them win. This is my ONE sports obsession. The ONE team and sport I follow each year. So I take it a bit more seriously.

Gators. Pizza. Parties. Stress. Allergies. Going to bed too late and waking up too early. Damn. It’s midnight again. Will keep you posted gentle reader, will keep you in the loops.